There’s a lot of reasons you might stop having sex. Sometimes stress from work, breakups, or travel are the cause or maybe it’s totally voluntary for religious purposes or maybe you just need a break. Whatever the reason, many things change when you stop having sex regularly.Your body stops producing chemicals and hormones when you stop having orgasms.
Let’s take a look at some other things that you can expect when you stop having sex.
#1. You might be a little sad.
Sex therapist Dr. Stephanie Buehler wrote in her book Sex, Love, and Mental Illness, “When a person has an orgasm alone or with a partner, it gives a boost to serotonin and raises endorphins and opioids, the brain’s so-called happy chemicals.”
Fortunately, there are other ways to boost your endorphins. Maybe go for a run, take a hike through a forest, or watch a funny movie with a friend.
#2. Your vagina won’t get smaller but his penis will.
It’s a myth that if you abstain from sex your vagina will get tighter. It’s also a misconception that if you have lots of sex you will become loose.
For men, it’s a little different as they can actually get smaller. Tobias Kohler, MD, assistant professor of urology at Southern Illinois University School of Medicine, warns, “If they don’t do anything to maintain normal erections, they will get shortening of the penis. Without regular erections, penile tissue can become less elastic and shrink, making the penis 1-2 centimeters shorter.”
#3. Men may experience erectile dysfunction from not having sex.
Use it or lose it!
Dr. Nelson E. Bennett, erectile dysfunction expert at Lahey Clinic in Burlington, Massachusetts, says, “The penis is a muscle and like any other muscle it needs exercise, so more exercise is good for erectile dysfunction. But that may not mean you need to have frequent intercourse or masturbation to protect yourself from ED. It’s the erection that does the exercise, not the ejaculation, and most men have three to six erections naturally every night.”
#4. Loss of libido.
If you abstain from sex for long periods of time you might not miss it. For some men, this can be a little threatening since so their masculinity is linked to their sexuality. Once you start having sex again your sex drive will increase.
#5. You might have feelings of self-doubt, anger and frustration.
A study, published in 2001 in the Journal of Sex Research, by doctors from Georgia State University found that people who were involuntarily celibate often experience feelings of self-doubt, frustration, anger, and depression. All were linked to not having sex.
#6. You might have trouble sleeping.
For women, this may not be as noticeable but for men who are used to having sex 3-4 times a week, they may notice that while abstaining their sleep might not be as sound.
This is because men release chemicals including oxytocin, serotonin, norepinephrine, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin is what causes the feeling of sexual satisfaction and it also is responsible for making men feel they need the recovery time and thus, a little sleepier.
#7. You are more susceptible to catching a cold because your immune system gets weaker.
Dr. Cory B. Honickman says when we don’t have sex our immune system weakens. Sex gives a boost to the body’s production of infection-fighting antibodies.
A study by researchers at Wilkes-Barre University found that college students who had regular sex 1-2 times a week had higher levels of antibodies than those who had sex less often.
A good substitute for the deep relaxation we get from sex is practicing regular meditation, guided imagery, and visualization.
#8. Your blood pressure might be a little higher than usual.
There’s a link between lower blood pressure and sex according to Joseph J. Pinzone, MD. “There have been many studies. One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically lowered systolic blood pressure.”
#9. Your chances of getting prostate cancer may increase.
Researchers found that men who ejaculated 21 or more times per month have a 33% lower risk of prostate cancer compared to those who reported 4 to 7 ejaculations a month. The study was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
#10. If you’re in a relationship you may not feel as close as you did before.
Sex with your partner increases levels of oxytocin which bonds you two together. Going without sex will decrease the hormone levels and you might notice the disconnect. It may also cause you to fear that your partner is looking for others to satisfy his or her needs.
Be sure to keep communication open and keep expressing your love to each other. Holding hands, hugging, and giving compliments will not replace sex but it can help you feel connected emotionally.
#11. Not having sex will help to protect your feelings by keeping you detached.
Women have a tendency of getting emotionally attached to their sex partner. We can blame this on oxytocin. It’s no wonder why it’s nicknamed the “attachment molecule.”
If you choose to date someone without getting involved sexually you can enjoy the flirting and the sexual tension. Get to know the person without sex. It might save some pain if things don’t work out.
#12. You will definitely have less drama in your life.
That’s right. Just think of all those times you were having sex. You were also experiencing drama too, were you not? Take this time to focus on YOU. Get to know your likes and dislikes, find out what really turns you on.
#13. You’ll have more time to focus on getting important things done.
This drought doesn’t have to be all bad. Use all that powerful sex energy for something else like a new hobby or goals you’ve been putting off.
#14. You might have vivid sexual dreams especially if you’re male.
Some men may experience nocturnal emissions. The nature of your dreams might become more sexual because of the lack of opportunity to express your burning sexual desires. Hormone levels will adapt and eventually the desire will fade.
#15. Changes in bladder control can happen if you aren’t having sex.
Sex is a work out for pelvic floor muscles, which helps with bladder control. A remedy for this is using a mini trampoline or rebounder regularly. Kegel exercises are always good for strong pelvic floor muscles and you can do them anywhere.
#16. You won’t be as attractive to others.
Your brain releases dopamine and oxytocin when you are having sex. These are the chemicals that make you feel happy. When you are happy, you smile and laugh more, and you exude confidence making you more attractive to others. People gravitate towards those who appear happy. So when you aren’t releasing these feel-good chemicals you won’t have a permagrin and a glow. You’re probably looking like someone who’s been stuck in rush hour traffic all day long. Smile and fake it until you make it. Again, exercise can help you in this department.
#17. Not having sex for long periods of time can make you less intelligent.
This is probably the worst thing ever! A 2013 study found sex boosts neurogenesis, the creation of new neurons in the brain. It also improves cognitive function. Sexual experiences promote cell growth in the hippocampus and prevents deterioration that leads to memory loss.
#18. People who aren’t “getting it” have a tendency to be more stressed out.
Studies show that people who have regular sex are better at dealing with high-stress situations. One of the best ways of coping with stress is exercise. Meditation also works wonders. Cutting back on caffeine is a good idea too.
#19. When you stop having sex you increase your risk of a heart attack.
During sex the heart rate increases and estrogen and testosterone levels are balanced out. One study found that regular sexual activity cuts the risk of heart disease in half. The good news is you can always get your cardio on by running or taking a hike. Won’t be as fun, but you got to do what you got to do, right?
#20. Your PMS symptoms may get worse during a sexual hiatus.
Lack of sex means less estrogen in your system and may cause you to feel crampy and bit more emotional than usual.
#21. You may loss your keen sense of smell.
Some people experience this after abstaining from sex for long periods. Don’t believe it? Google “mating and olfaction” and check it out for yourself.
#22. You might not even want sex anymore.
You won’t even think to masterbate because sex is so far removed from your mind. Your body stops making those hormones and you’ll find yourself not even thinking about sex at all. Maybe you’ll be celibate forever.
#23. You’ll have a lower risk of urinary tract infections.
Yay! Finally you get some good news! Sex increases your risk of UTIs so if you aren’t having any sex then you can rest assured that you won’t be catching any UTIs either.
#24. You could either get really trim or gain lots of weight.
People who are searching for a sexual partner have a tendency to take better care of their bodies because they want to look better. But then there’s some who get depressed and stay home eating tubs of ice cream and pizza.
#25. Sex might be painful the next time you have it.
Once you’ve been celibate and you have sex your privates will get sore. It will feel swollen and bruised the first few times you do it. Go easy on yourself. Use lubrication and take your time. Tell your partner about your situation so he/she will understand.
#26. There’s a very good chance sex will be super awkward next time you have sex.
You might be terrified when it comes time to be intimate with someone. It’s like your a virgin all over again. Don’t worry it’s like riding a bike, once you learn you never forget. You’ll be fine just let your partner know you some cobwebs down there and he/she will be more than happy to “dust them out.” 🙂